WEEK5 STANDINGS: ONE PERFECTO WEEK PUTS A MILLION MILES OF FUN BACK AT NUMERO UNO

Fraser, CO: The League’s collective butthole puckered on Saturday night as over 1,500 points hung in the balance during the Irish, Ole Miss and Washington night games. But in the end, the League cooled off from last week’s 11 Perfecto performance with only one perfect 5-for-5 ticket. That was executed by Go Ugly Early from The Church of Nick Satan who rose +54 spots in the standings and is one of four new teams that breached the Top10 in Week5. And for the first time all season we have a familiar face at #1 with A million miles of fun returning back to the top spot after he tied for the Criminoles bonus. Here’s what else stood out:

WEEK5 IN A NUT
The League got back on track in binding conference play (maybe because we were picking from a Power 5 conference and not a mid-major) The ACC provided the second highest binding conference success rate thus far (WK1 MTN WEST was highest) which comes thanks to an improbable last minute run up the gut for a TD. It was the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen (yes I 5stacked them).

FAILURE IN HINDSIGHT
We all know Brian Kelly is a pig, and yet some League members had to learn that lesson all over again in Week5. The pandering turncoat shit the bed down the stretch allowing 21 points in the 4th quarter to Lane freaking Kiffin. That big L resulted in almost -300 points, which helped balance out all the prosperity that the Notre Dame Fighting Irish provided. See you at the Dukes’ Mayo Bowl, BK.

TIE ONE ON FOR WEEK6
As seen above there were 28 ties that wreaked havoc in Week5. And unfortunately the most havoc was wreaked all over The Guy Behind 199 Guys, who had a Gopher tie (aka “The P.J. Fleck”) block his second Perfecto of the season. In addition to all the yellow on the scoreboard, there were also some ties in conference play which makes next weekend an opportunity to get more than you bargained for at the grocery store. In other words, high value Chips are at stake in Week6.

CHIP WINNER: beansalad (44): 4 of 5, lost Perfecto on BYU cover (Sets up Red River Rivalry stack?)

CHIP WINNER: Go Ugly Early (92): Perfecto via 4 faves, 1 over

NO CHIP: A million miles of fun and Golden Flashes tie with 44 pts each, each of them shy of a Perfecto by the Texas/KS over. Sets up a $75 Chip in Week6.